My Own Personal Hell

**I have been doing a crappy job of keeping up with the blog lately. Sorry about that. Life gets overwhelming sometimes. I will do my best to update every Tuesday. We'll see how that goes.**

Dorm life is not for me. I absolutely hate it. It drives me crazy. Some people love it, and that is wonderful. I just cannot do it. No way. Fortunately for me, I am moving to off-campus apartments this summer, so I will not have to deal with dorms ever again. My current roommate is also moving in with me. Here is my dorm horror story, but first some background information.

I live in a four-person suite style dorm room. It is much bigger than many of the other dorm rooms of my friends on campus. It is well-lit and has one window. There are two closets, two dressers, two desks, and two beds. My roommate and I have our own sides. I have an un-lofted bed with a mini-fridge underneath and a desk on the side. I have the dresser with the crappy drawers that do not open properly. I own the television, smart Blu-ray player, and sound system that is on top of my dresser. She has a lofted bed with the desk and dresser underneath it. She also brought a mini-fridge, coffee maker, microwave, and toaster. We have a good system here. We keep to our sides but we are also open to sharing appliances like the mini-fridges and microwave. Sometimes not all the groceries fit in one fridge. There is a shared bathroom with one stall, two sinks, and one shower. There is also a door that leads to our suite-mates' room. From outside our door, the hall has at least thirty dorm rooms on this side of the floor and two study lounges. Down the hallway, there is a communal kitchen and large study lounge where floor meetings are typically held. The residence hall itself is located on the far end of campus, almost as far south as the campus goes. It is at least a ten-minute walk to class uphill if you walk quickly or have long legs.

I love my roommate. She and I have had no problems this year. The only issue with the dorm room itself is the complete lack of privacy. We can both see each other from our beds. I can hear her stomach growl when she gets really hungry from my bed. This can be particularly annoying when I am trying to focus, which is really difficult for me to do anyway these days, and her music is loud enough for me to hear while she has headphones on. I appreciate a wide variety of music, but when I study, I typically listen to movie scores or nothing at all. I will sometimes listen to Disney music when I do not need to focus on the task, like when I do my easy biology homework. I can also hear her talk to relatives or friends on FaceTime or on the phone late at night when I am trying to go to sleep. I completely respect her habits. I think it is perfectly fine to do these things. I just wish we had separate rooms. She probably wishes this too, because I usually end up listening to her conversations and asking questions. She probably finds this annoying, but I really just cannot help it at this point. Lack of privacy also becomes an issue when it comes to significant others. We have a system that she has ignored several times in which we draw a fish on the white board on our door when we want privacy. She has nearly walked in on things several times. Having our own rooms would prevent that.

My suite-mates are nice people. One of them is a cheerleader for our university, and the other just rushed a sorority this semester. We all share this one bathroom, which meant we had to sign a suite-mate agreement at the beginning of the year. We agreed to knock on the door before entering the bathroom. I cannot tell you how many times they have walked in on me in the bathroom when I was about to get in the shower. The knocking rule was their idea too. They also suggested, and we all agreed, to clean the bathroom every week. I cannot tell you how many times I have cleaned the entire bathroom by myself. It was not fun. I also have supplied the toilet paper for most of the year. I do not have the time or the patience to keep doing this.

My floor-mates suck. I basically hate them all. They are loud and obnoxious at all hours of the night. Our RA told us about "quiet hours" from 10 pm-7 am. Quiet hours mean shut up, so people can get their sleep. I have had my ability to sleep interfered with due to their obnoxiousness too many times. Apparently, I have caused this room to have a reputation for lodging noise complaints. On several occasions, I have told my friends that I will lightsaber the obnoxious noise-makers next time it happens. My roommate has prevented me from fulfilling my dream for vengeance. Many nights, I am too tired and lack the energy to get up, open the door, and yell at them to be quiet. I have settled for writing the passive aggressive message, "You should have let me sleep! -Khan" on my door white board. They truly suck the life out of me. They have gotten down to the immature level of leaving an open condom on our door handle for revenge against my noise complaints. Despite all of my noise complaints, the RA does nothing. She is sweet but she is a senior and sometimes helps contribute to the noise. I cannot wait until I finally get to sleep in a quiet, dark room again on a comfy bed.

The crappy location of the residence hall causes me to take the bus on rainy and extremely cold days. There is a bus stop right in front of the residence hall, which is quite convenient. Unfortunately, everyone else takes the bus on rainy and cold days. I have been late to class because the bus I was supposed to take was too full and did not stop. I have been late to class because the transit authority only puts out extra buses on those days when they feel like it. They also will not tell you when the "trippers" are out, so if you walk away because the first bus blew past you, you may miss the tripper and be even later to class. It is really not the best system.

I am one of those people who likes to have separate spaces for different functions. I like to have a space for eating, entertaining, studying, and sleeping. Unfortunately for me, these places are one and the same in the dorm room. I will eat dinner at my desk when I do not feel like being poisoned by the dinning hall. I will either study at my desk or on my bed. When my friends come over, they chill on my bed, at my desk, or in the chair we stole from the study lounge. I always sleep in my bed; although it is not always a restful, comfortable sleep. I would much rather have the living room that will be present in my apartment. The television would be in there instead of in my study and sleep space. I would have a comfortable couch and chair for my guests instead of my unmade bed and sketchy armchair from the lounge. There would be a kitchen and small dining area where we could pull even more chairs into the living room, if needed. We would have our own space for cooking, instead of the communal kitchen with the stove that makes weird noises. We would also finally have a full-size refrigerator again. We would have separate bedrooms and bathrooms where we can have private conversations and private time with our significant others. I would clean my own bathroom because I would not have to worry about whose turn it was to clean what.

Additionally, I hate being dropped in on by friends. I always like to plan to meet with friends. No surprises. It has always been that way for me because I used to babysit my sister at home. I always had to check with my schedule to make sure hanging out with a friend did not conflict with babysitting my sister or picking her up from school. It was advantageous because I would be able to better plan out my time. I would be sure to get homework done before hanging out or bring a specific subject with me if it was for a study group. I also value my me-time. I think it is very important to have me-time. You should always check in with yourself-- check your emotions, check your needs. If you need to take time away from being around people, you have every right to do that. I have been doing that a lot more lately due to my depression. Unfortunately, the dorm life lends itself to surprise visits. Any friend within walking distance can simply walk up right to your door and knock, expecting to be let in. No warning or anything. In fact, this one guy who is friends with my roommate and me would pop in unexpectedly late at night for no particular reason. He was not here to study, just to show us some video he saw on the Internet or whatever. My roommate would either be talking to her girlfriend or be trying to go to sleep. I have the tendency to do late-night studying. This habit of his was not healthy for any of us. My roommate had a chat with him about not coming over after 10 pm anymore on school nights. I think it took because he has not done it since then. Fortunately for me, the apartment will get rid of those surprise visits for good. It is far enough away from campus that a bus is needed to take people back and forth. I will certainly have my me-time back.

To sum up, dorm life is not healthy living for everyone. It is okay if it is not for you. Hopefully, your university will not require you to stay on campus for one year before being allowed to move off campus. If so, I feel your pain. Apartment living can be truly liberating and the healthy alternative for university living.